Harry Potter Meets the Greatest Wizard of All!

 Above is some humorous fan art that I found on Google images.

Once Voldemort was no more, and Dumbledore didn't come back to life, Harry Potter became quite bored and depressed.  All of his friends got really into using the internet, as a way to deal with their depression and anxiety, but the internet was not enough to fill the void that both Dumbledore and Voldemort had left.  So Harry decided to seek out another great wizard to fill up that hole.  The only great wizard that really came to mind, in light of the Holiday Spirit, was of course Santa Claus.  

Harry decided that once he met ol' Kris Kringle he could decide wether to become his apprentice, or plot to destroy him with his friends.  (Based on Santa's character, of course.)  So Harry hopped on his nimbus 9000, threw on his cloak of invisibility, and began his journey to the North Pole.  Once he started getting close Harry noticed that there were Death Eaters all around the entire place, only they were wearing white cloaks rather than black ones.  "These must what muggles think are abominable snowmen," thought Harry. Unfortunately they had the same hold over Harry as the  normal death eaters and he fell to the ground from his broom.  The fall broke both of Harry's legs and his wand had fallen about ten yards away, so he couldn't reach it.  He needed to, though, because the death eaters were approaching fast, to devour his soul.  Just when he thought he was dead meat, a silver reindeer--a patronus--emerged from the trees and scared off all the death eaters.   "Who's could it be?" though Harry.  He looked in the direction from which the reindeer had come and saw a fat jolly wizard wearing all red emerging from the trees.  

Harry looked at Santa Claus, who looked oddly familiar, and asked him, "Sir, why are you so fat and jolly?"  

Santa looked at Harry and answered, "I'm fat because I'm depressed--I was depressed.  A long time ago I had to abandon my son, because I was a coward.  As a way to cope with that depression, I ended up over eating a lot.  I'm jolly, though, because today my son, who I abandoned years ago, has returned to me.  Harry, it's me James, James Potter.  Harry, I am your father."  Santa began sobbing.

Harry was overwhelmed but happy that Santa turned out to be such a good guy after all.  "Oh, dad, I thought you were dead!"  He wanted to hug his father, but he couldn't move as a result of his broken legs.  

"Accio Harry!" called out James and Harry flew threw the air right into his father's embrace.  

"Happy Christmas dad!" said Harry.

"Indeed, Harry, happy Christmas indeed!"

Santa then took Harry back to the North pole where he trained him to be an elf.  Harry happily made toys for good little boys and girls for the rest of his life until he died.

THE END

Everbody Dies

I've never played a game like Everybody Dies before.  It was like playing a novel.  It was entirely text accompanied rarely by really nice illustrations by Michael Cho.  It was very strange.  When I was little I used to play Leisure Suit Larry in the Land of the Loung Lizards which was also a command based text game, but there was a man who actually walked when you commanded his to and rooms that you walked to, etc. With no imagery in Everybody Dies I felt lost.  I felt blind, it was difficult to find my way around, and figure out what to do, and then on top of that I kept dying.  Which I guess is just a part of the game. haha.  It was a fun game, but I got stuck eventually and when you get stuck and all you can do is stare at a white text box for fifteen minutes trying to figue it out, it becomes boring.  It was cool the way that you could invent the entire setting and characters in your own head, just like when your reading, though.

Asterios Polyp

Asterios Polyp by David Mazzucchelli was a fun read and it was well designed, however, the actually content of the work fell short.  Mazzucchelli explored numerous storytelling techniques throughout this graphic novel that were over the top.  I felt as thought the story was actually secondary to his techniques.  It was as if the entire thing was just platform for him to show off.  The abstractions in the work, used to communicated different feelings worked in that manner, but the made the work very meta.  Instead of become lost in the story I was constantly just being reminded of the medium.  Speaking of which, I'm sure McLuhan would enjoy Asterios Polyp.  haha.  I also am not a big fan of panel breaks in comics.  Its just another thing that takes away from the story.  Its obvious that, in my opinion, the story is the most important aspect of a comic.  I feel like Eisner, for example was able to express an extensive range of emotion and depth in his characters, solely through drawing--gesture, expression--and story telling.  With tha being said, I enjoyed the design of the entire thing.  The colors and drawings were fun and well done.

Player One

I ended up listening to the audio version of this novel, which was better actually, I think, because that was its original format.  Douglas Coupland read Player One as one hour lectures (per chapter.)  Player One was a very entertaining, humorous, and smart read.  I felt like it was hyperrealistic.  Each character in the story was absolutely ridiculous, but at the same time I felt like I knew each one of the so well.  They were all typical cliches--from tv, movies, and real life as well.  I really liked the way that the world began to end halfway through the story, because I wanted so badly for these characters to somehow be awakened from their imaginary worlds.  Their worlds of online dating, the internet in general, and so on.  Before the world began to end, in the story, I wanted so badly to toss water in each of the characters faces and shout at them, "WAKE UP!"  The story was very relevant and each character was extremely witty--almost too witty--actually maybe not, for the sake of the story.  Too witty for real life, but the perfect amount of witty for this story.  The story was very much like a script.  I felt like I was watching listening to a TV show, or a play.  Actually a play is more like it.  There was one setting the entire time, and characters came and went.  I actually wasn't too crazy about the final chapter with Rachel, or Player One, after she had died.  It was strange and harder to understand than the rest, and it made the ending very cheesy.  Just because I didn't care for it, though, doesn't mean it wasn't perfect for the story.  I think it was just fine in the context of Player One.

McLuhan's The Medium is the Massage

The Medium is the Massage by Marshall McLuhan was a very interesting and innovative read.  (well, innovative for the year it was published.)  McLuhan tackled the topic of media; what makes media stand out, what makes it relevant, what is important within the media.  Honestly after reading it I look at media differently.  I often find myself looking at the medium rather than the content.  I have to admit though, I don't believe the content to be all together irrelevant.  Saying that the only thing that's important is the medium is really relevant if your trying to make it into history books.  It is interesting, however that McLuhan teamed up with Quentin Fiore to present a book that was bending the medium.  He also further bent the rules by realeasing an audio track as well.  It's nice to see he's practicing what he's preaching. haha.  We're actually embracing many of the concepts in this book, by having all of our homework assignment be blog updates.  It's extremely relevant to our generation and our contemporary society.  

Andrei Tarkovsky

Let me begin by saying Tarkovsky's movies are not to be watched late at night.  I watched Solaris and Andrei Rublev.  My initial impression of the films was how beautiful the imagery was.  One thing I noticed was a lack of tradition plot in the films.  They were almost more like stream of consciousness.  I feel like Tarkovsky loved to break conventional story telling rules.  The actual plot did not seem too important to him.  

It was hard, for me, to relate to the characters.  They didn't seem to fit into any sort of stereotype that I knew--they were completely unpredictable.  This may have had to do with the fact that these films were Russian, therefore, I had a difficult time relating to them culturally.  But not entirely.  The characters in the films were very introspective.  They focused on the "meaning of life," and what seemed to be real and not.  When something is revealed to the characters, it is also revealed to the audience at the same time.  One other thing I notice in both movies were odd scenes that focused on dark horses.  They seemed strange and random.  After looking it up, I found that black horses symbolize mystery, death, night, secret, messenger of esoteric knowledge--all of which are reoccurring themes in Tarkovsky's films.  

Tarkovsky's films are beautifully made.  He is able to focus on metaphysical, esoteric, and existential themes through dreamlike imagery.  

The Innocence of Dolores Hayes

Upon hearing her first morning yawn, I feigned handsome profiled sleep. I just did not know what to do. Would she be shocked at finding me by her side, and not in some spare bed? Would she collect her clothes and lock herself up in the bathroom? Would she demand to be taken at once to Ramsdale—to her mother's bedside—back to camp? But my Lo was a sportive lassie. I felt her eyes on me, and when she uttered at last that beloved chortling note of hers, I knew her eyes had been laughing. She rolled over to my side, and her warm brown hair came against my collarbone. I gave a mediocre imitation of waking up. We lay quietly. I gently caressed her hair, and we gently kissed. Her kiss, to my delirious embarrassment, had some rather comical refinements of flutter and probe which made me conclude she had been coached at an early age by a little Lesbian. No Charlie boy could have taught her that. As if to see whether I had my fill and learned the lesson, she drew away and surveyed me. Her cheekbones were flushed, her full underlip glistened, my dissolution was near. All at once, with a burst of rough glee (the sign of the nymphet!), she put her mouth to my ear—but for quite a while my mind could not separate into words the hot thunder of her whisper, and she laughed, and brushed the hair off her face, and tried again, and gradually the odd sense of living in a brand new, mad new dream world, where everything was permissible, came over me as I realized what she was suggesting. I answered I did not know what game she and Charlie had played. "You mean you have never—?"—her features twisted into a stare of disgusted incredulity. "You have never—" she started again. I took time out by nuzzling her a little. "Lay off, will you," she said with a twangy whine, hastily removing her brown shoulder from my lips. (It was very curious the way she

considered—and kept doing so for a long time—all caresses except kisses on the mouth or the stark act of love either "romantic slosh" or "abnormal".)

"You mean," she persisted, now kneeling above me, "you never did it when you were a kid?"

"Never," I answered quite truthfully.

"Okay," said Lolita, "here is where we start.”
 
I would like to address the innocence of Dolores Hayes.  In no way am I attempting to remove the blame from Humbert Humbert for the awful things that he did to Dolores, but I would like to propose that he was not alone to blame.  After this incident, where Dolores asks Humbert had he ever “done it” as a kid, she reveals to him that there was a boy at the camp who would “copulate” in the bushes with her best friend.  Being curious, she decided to “try it out” and determined that it was “sort of fun” and “fine for the complexion.”  She also reveals to Humbert all the times at previous camps when she had experimented with other little girls.  

Oddly enough, when Humbert finds himself lying in bed that morning, with “Lolita,” confused and not knowing what to do, it is her that whispers into his ear, with the proposition.  This specific detail, however, can not be fully trusted, for we know that Humbert was very good at romancing the reader.  Regardless, he could not have possibly made up the entirety of the details of Lolita fooling around at camp.  

Therefore, is it just as wrong to molest a child who is willing and consenting?  If Dolores had already lost her virginity at camp, does that mean there was no more innocence in the child?  And if a child can be no longer considered innocent, is it fine to molest them, if there’s no innocence at risk of being lost?  Yes! Of course it is.  A child is a child and there are many things children do no understand.  I remember a story that a friend of mine told me regarding their childhood.  He said that when he was young, (nearly Dolores’ age) he approached his father and told him “I’m going to hump your leg!” and then proceeded to do so.  His father pulled him off and asked him why he would ever say such a thing.  He responded, “I don’t know.”  And he didn’t.  Kids do weird stuff like that all the time.  They don’t understand and they look for answers by doing peculiar things without thinking.  I could ask a similar question.  Would it have been okay if my friends father had allowed him to continue “humping” his leg and the proceed to escalate things further?

And lets say that Dolores is not considered innocent? What led her to become that way?  For one thing, ignorance of moral values.  Dolores doesn’t seem to be aware of any type of morality throughout the entire book.  And why is that?  I could guess that she was never taught.  He mother hated her guts--she wanted to send Dolores off to boarding school--she wouldn’t give her the time of day.  I’m sure that Dolores didn’t learn too many morals from her mother--nor did she want to.  The only morals that Dolores had picked up on were those in the movies. (mainly the romances)  That’s where she got the idea that she had to have a man in here life.  And who looked the most like a movie star out of everyone she knew?  Humbert Humbert, of course.  And after her mother died and Humbert was her guardian, he certainly never taught her right from wrong.  

In the end of the novel when Humbert finally meets his “Lolita” again, she says some curious things to him.  When Humbert asks Lolita if she would come away with him, forever, she 

misunderstands and says:

"You mean," she said opening her eyes and raising herself slightly, the snake that may strike, "you mean you will give us that money only if I go with you to a motel. Is that what you mean?”

She said it as if she would have entertained the idea had he wanted her to.  She was willing to prostitute herself to the man who basically ruined her life, for an envelope full of money.  How could a girl like this know right from wrong?  Its more ignorance of right and wrong than anything else.  She wasn’t rescued from Humbert by a detective or a policeman, like he suspected, but instead she ran away to another man twice her age or more.

Dolores Hayes was just as innocent as any other child, because she was ignorant to right and wrong.  She never knew the difference, so Dolores’ crime is not a lack of innocence, but instead her crime is ignorance.  And Humbert Humbert is just as guilty as he always was for taking advantage of the ignorance that he made himself believe was a lack of innocence.

Eyes wide shut: director notes

Interpretation:

-College setting
-fraternity/sorority
-guy lives with long-time high school girlfriend, but they go to different colleges
-the daughter is a puppy dog: shitzu
-so all the sex adventures are with sorority girls
-The prostitute is still just a girl at school who is a prostitute
-he goes to med school
-the original party is an exclusive frat party that they get invited to by one of Bills classmates
-The piano player from the script is actually a DJ, who never went to grad school, and DJ's as a career
-Soundtrack: Asher Roth, Daft Punk, Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Snoop Dogg, Beastie Boys, Daddy Yankee, Skrillex ft. Korn, Twisted
-Product placement: Monster energy drink, Bud light with Lime, twisted ice tea, Beats by dre headphones, skull candy, Lifestyle contraceptives,
-Actors: DJ-Steven Anthony Lawrence, Ziegler: Justin Timberlake, Bill: Shia Lebouf, Girlfriend: Kristen Stewart
-the guy who dances with Bill's girlfriend is Ryan Reynolds
-Ziegler is the son of a senator, very rich, very preppy, very in-the-know
-When bill is followed it is by Steve Buscemi, who is Ziegler's butler
-University of Illinois College of Medicine
-Classical architecture
-Takes place in the city in Chicago
-The final fraternity party that he ends up sneaking into is a sorority hazing party.  Everyone is required to wear a mask. (not venetian, but horror latex)  All the girls are freshmen, and in order to be accepted into the desired fraternity, they must submit to the male seniors of the brother fraternity.
-password: SWAG
-costuming: Locoste, Polo Ralph Lauren, Abercrombie, Ed Hardy, victoria secret, frederick's of hollywood
-lots of hand held camera shots at the parties

The Man in the High Castle

I picked up The Man in the High Castle, by Phillip K. Dick, expecting a science fiction novel.  I had never read a Phillip K. Dick book and I thought that I was going to end up reading a futuristic sci-fi novel similar to the movies that I had seen, adapted from his stories, such as Blade Runner or Total Recall.  Instead I ended up reading an alternate history novel.  I had never read an alternate history novel before, and I found the genre, or this book specifically, quite dense.  In some parts I felt as though I was reading a history book.  It seemed like non fiction.  Especially because all of the countries and even some politicians mentioned really exist/have existed.   In the book a few of the characters read a book called The Grasshopper Lies Heavy which is a work of alternative history as well.  This added to the density of the story.  Honestly I didn't have too much fun reading this book, because I couldn't seem to get lost in the storyline.  There didn't even seem to be a conclusive ending.  The genre depends too much on facts, rather than just interactions between people, in my opinion.  

Genre list

sci fi
western
spaghetti western
historical fiction
sword and sandal
fantasy
alternate history
hard sci fi
space opera
musical
apocalyptic
religious
disaster
propaganda
blaxploitation
noir
pulp
historical epic
epic
holocaust
satire
horror
thriller
slasher
sci fi horror
comedy
slapstick
dark comedy
romantic comedy
neo realism
children
adventure
romance
gay lesbian
french new wave
art deco
documentary
mockumentary
parody
pornography
super hero
kung fu
sports
racing
war
political
art
avante garde
anime
grindhouse
feminism
super natural
news
reality
steam punk
cyber punk

The Hunger Games

The Hunger games is a story that follows the typical formula of people suffering, in a competitive manner, for others' entertainment.  I am surprised how popular this book is becoming, seeing as how the same concept has been produced over and over again in the past.  For example Battle Royale, Lord of the Flies, Gamer, Mad Max, and so on.  You could even go as far as saying Metropolis.  In that film people suffered, so that others could live in comfort.  I suppose that Suzanne Collins, being a TV writer, was able to apply this type of story to the newer generation--the generation of reality TV, videogames, and Twilight.  The book is written very much in a videogame format--play this level, level up, etc.

The romance aspect of the book was sort of sickening to me.  Not that romance in general bothered me, but specifically the way the Panam played with Peeta--the way she led him on with out knowing what she wanted.  It was so un-romantic, so realistic, so in touch with the way romance works today.  Of course thats a personal preference, but when I want to read an action packed romance story, I want there to be true love and everything else.  (as cheesy as it is)

I thought it was handled far better in Battle Royale.  The main character meets his love interest, fall in love, and defeat the game itself.  What a romanticized story.  But at the same time how great is that?  That whole novel was a better take on this concept if you ask me.  It was far more in depth as far as character development goes.  It was also more explicit and violent, which is always more fun, especially when you dealing with this type of subject matter.

However, the way that Collins aligned the story with reality TV was very interesting and very relevant. It juxtaposes anyone who watches reality TV with the sponsors in the story and hopefully makes them question why they find reality TV so entertaining.  Which makes it kind of ironic that the trailer for the movie premiered at the MTV music video awards.

Even though I prefer other vessels of this concept, I think its cool how much these novels are blowing up.  Hopefully people will get the point.  Or at least question the point.

Metropolis

I've never seen a full length silent film before.  But what a great film to start with!  After seeing how long this silent film was,  I wasn't looking forward to sitting through it.  I did want to watch it, though, because I had heard that it was a great and important movie to see, but I was hesitant.  Thankfully, I wasn't bored once.  Fritz Lang's Metropolis was filled with drama, an innovative view of the future, and amazing acting.  The characters--since it was a silent film--had to exaggerate their emotions to the fullest extent in order to get their point across.  

The film is amazing in that even today it still looks futuristic.  The set design was impecable, with cutting edge effects.  I read that the way they made it look like there were cars driving on bridges between skyscrapers, was a technique involving mirrors--a technique that had previously only been used in an Alfred Hitchcock film.  

The film really came across with some hard points.  The upper class survives on the lower class' expense.  In order for someone to have more, someone else must have less, and if that balance is disturbed, the whole system can come crashing down.  This is still relevant today.  We have to question, who is working in the "underground" of our society?  On whose expense are we thriving?  As Americans we are bombarded with media, which mostly helps us to forget that there are those who have less so that we may have more.

One thing that I thought was ironic was the timing of this movie in relevance to Nazi Germany.  Just six years after this movie premiered, the German Reich began.  Obviously, the Nazis were not watching close enough.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, written by L. Frank Baum, illustrated by W.W. Denslow, has become one of the most popular stories in America, mainly thanks to the 1939 technicolor movie.  The book was originally a collaboration between the Baum and Denslow, making the illustrations just as important as the text.  (A really interesting idea.  No one really does that anymore aside from comics)

The novel is filled with symbolism.  The entire story, in fact is a symbol.  The scarecrow is missing a brain a sets out to find one.  The brain obviously doesn't represent and actual organ, but instead it represents intelligence and decision making.  The Tin woodman fear that he has no heart so he joins Dorothy on her journey in search of one.  The heart represent empathy.  The Tin Woodman fears that he can't actually care for someone or show feelings for someone.  The cowardly lion sets out to find courage.   (Ironically wouldn't you be cowardly as well if your name had the word in it?)  The funny thing is that, throughout the story, each one of the characters reveal to themselves that they already posses the character traits, yet it takes the Wizard of Oz to convince them.  The Wizard is more or less a placebo.  All it take is a silk stuffed heart or a "magic" potion, to convince the characters that all the have to do is believe in themselves.  Even Dorothy had the power to travel home herself all the time, yet she didn't know it until the good witch Glinda told her.

All of the characters throughout the book are very contradictory.  Even though the scarecrow believes he has no brain, he thinks up clever ways to help the group on their journey.  The Tin Woodman is constantly distraught when misfortune come to the group, and the Lion is constantly brave throughout their adventures. Even though these characters are not human their complex characteristics and contradictions are.

There have been many speculations that The Wonderful Wizard of Oz was written as a political or a religious metaphor.  Baum, never admitted the either of these though.  I think that Baum was really on to something when he was writing these novels.  He wrote 14!  He created an entire world--something I think is very cool, but at the same time completely bonkers.